yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
