"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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