I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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