So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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