But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
