just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's never too late to be topless.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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