The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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