Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
