Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
