If i come over, it means nothing
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
