xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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