at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
