Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
