Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
