You work out of a Hotel?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
