I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize