My brain says no but my pants say off.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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