Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
