my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we should paint friendship bongs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
