Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Someone came in the potted fern
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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