i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
