you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
