i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
