this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Acid is not a monday night drug
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
