I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
