Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
