I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
