When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
