Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
