I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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