1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Let's get the cat blown out
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
