I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Houston, we have a blender
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
