Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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