Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
