Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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