that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
