I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
