i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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