When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
