nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
