Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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