He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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