You smell like stripper and shame
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
