We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
