saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
