You work out of a Hotel?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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