I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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