I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
