Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
