my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
